Separation and divorce do not have to result in all-out warfare. While sometimes the parties can work together to find solutions, other times it seems impossible. The constant bickering and blaming is too much, and one of the spouses decides to leave and file for divorce.
When the person who leaves is the dad, it can pose many challenges for his continued relationship with his children.
- Not having a say
During the onset of divorce, fathers may feel like they do not get to play a role in decisions regarding their children. The reason for this lies with the fact that the mother often maintains physical custody of the children, and therefore, she gets to make the decisions. She may improperly assert her authority over the kind of visitation the father has with the kids, not considering his feelings or the way it affects the children. He may want to see them more than what the mother allows.
- Children getting swept away
Alongside the lack of visitation comes the influence the mother may hold over the children. If the breakup of the marriage was not amicable, and the father chose to leave, the mother may start to exert her emotional control over the kids to move them towards her and away from their father. Thus, when he does want to begin exerting his presence in their lives, they may resist and favor the mother.
- Believing money equals love
It may seem tempting to spend lavish amounts on children during visits so that the father appears to be the fun parent. However, what kids need more than a holiday weekend is love, consistency and a sense of family that their father may best achieve by spending time with them at his home.